Family
That evening as they walked down the hall toward the bedrooms, Esther said, “Look. There’s Uncle Mike’s picture. When we go back to our passport country, we’ll see him again.”
Looking at the picture, Ruth said, “That’s not Uncle Mike. That man doesn’t have hair on top. Uncle Mike has lots of black hair all over his head.”
“It is too Uncle Mike.” Esther said. “The one with lots of black hair isn’t really your uncle.”
“He is too! Everyone in our agency calls him Uncle Mike. He’s everyone’s uncle,” said Ruth.
Esther replied, “No, he’s not anyone’s uncle.”
Listening as he walked down the hall behind them, Paul said, “I’m confused. If he’s not anyone’s uncle, why do all the kids call him Uncle Mike? How can he be both everyone’s uncle and nobody’s uncle?”
Dan said, “We need to talk about what uncles and aunts are. All of dad’s brothers and all of mom’s brothers are our uncles. All of dad’s sisters and all of mom’s sisters are our aunts.”
“And don’t forget that all of the women who married dad’s brothers and mom’s brothers are our aunts too. And all of the men who married dad’s and mom’s sisters are our uncle’s,” added Esther.
“Oh, I see,” said Paul. “All of mom’s and dad’s brothers and sisters are our uncles and aunts. And so are all the people who married them.”
“Right!” said Paul and Esther together.
“Then why do we and all the other kids call the Mike with black hair all over his head ‘Uncle’?” asked Ruth.
“I’m not sure,” said Dan.
Esther agreed, “Let’s ask Mom and Dad.”
Ruth ran down the hall and told Mom and Dad that they were confused about Uncle Mike. The other three waited in the girl’s room until Mom and Dad got there with Ruth. Dan and Esther told Mom and Dad what they had talked about. They ended with, “Why do we call that Mike ‘Uncle Mike’?”
Dad began, “Well, I wasn’t around when people began doing that. But I think it’s because our agency is like one big family, so we call them by family names. We call them uncle and aunt.”
“That’s right,” continued Mom. “Just calling him ‘Mike’ doesn’t seem to show respect for him. Calling him ‘Mr. Brown’ seems too formal. So we call him ‘Uncle Mike.’”
Dan said, “Mom, isn’t Aunt Susie our aunt since she married your brother?”
“She is. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I remember her before we left our passport country. I can’t stand her hugs and sloppy kisses.” said Dan.
Mom said, “She just wants you to know that she loves you, Dan.”
“OK, but I still don’t like it. And then she wants us to kiss her! I’ll be in middle school by the time we get back.”
“That doesn’t sound good to me either,” said Paul. “And I’m just in third grade.”
“I don’t mind it,” said Esther. “Besides, she always gives us candy.”
“That sounds good,” said Paul.
“It’s not worth it to me,” added Dan. “I’d rather do without the candy.”
Ruth hadn’t said anything for a long time, “I know all of our aunts and uncles who live here. But I don’t remember the people you’re talking about. People like Uncle Mike and Aunt Susie.
“Granny visited us last year. I liked her hugs and kisses. And Grandpa and Grandma visited too. I liked her kisses.”
“But they’re different,” said Dan. They’re Mom’s and Dad’s mothers. They’re really part of the family. Aunt Susie isn’t. She’s just our aunt because she married Mom’s brother.”
“Wait a minute,” said Dad. “We’re going to treat everyone in the family alike. Those who married our brothers and sisters are part of the family.”
“Well, OK,” said Dan. “But I still don’t like some of their kisses.”
“I understand,” said Mom. “I’ll try to tell them how you feel, but I am sure some of them will still kiss. Please try to be nice.”
Paul spoke up. “Another thing I don’t understand is about cousins. I have heard about our cousins, Bill, Ann, Liz, and Rob. But some of the kids at school talk about first cousins, second cousins, and third cousins. Is Bill my first cousin because he was born first, because he’s the oldest?”
“Cousins are confusing,” replied Dad. “Let’s not worry about any cousins except what people call ‘first cousins.’ Those cousins are the children of your aunts and uncles. All of Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary’s children are your cousins. All of Uncle Bob and Aunt Susie’s children are your cousins.”
“When we get back to our passport country, you’ll meet most of your cousins. Mom and I will help you connect your cousins with your aunts and uncles so that you know who’s who. We’ll email them and ask them to send us a picture of themselves as an attachment so that you’ll know what they look like.”